Having a friend made everything else suck less.

It is my first morning of high school. I have seven new notebooks, a skirt I hate, and a stomachache.

Cold and silence. Nothing quieter than snow. The sky screams to deliver it, a hundred banshees flying on the edge of the blizzard. But once the snow covers the ground, it hushes as still as my heart.

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves.

I know my head isn't screwed on straight. I want to leave, transfer, warp myself to another galaxy. I want to confess everything, hand over the guilt and mistake and anger to someone else. There is a beast in my gut, I can hear it scraping away at the inside of my ribs. Even if I dump the memory, it will stay with me, staining me. My closest is a good thing, a quiet place that helps me hold these thoughts inside my head where no one can hear them.

Can't escape pain, kiddo. Battle through it and you get stronger.

Because I am still a little girl who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and you.