It was like looking at a knot, knowing it was a knot, but not knowing how to untie it. I had no map for this life.

She turns to us, acts surprised to see us, then does the bit with the back of the hand to the forehead. "You're lost!" "You're angry!" "You're in the wrong school!" "You're in the wrong country!" "You're on the wrong planet!

Did you read last nights assignments?" Say "yes'" and get hammered again. Say "no'" and the same thing would happen.

My first class is biology. I can't find it and get my first demerit for wandering the hall. It is 8:50 in the morning. Only 699 days and 7 class periods until graduation.

I want to tell him that it's just a stupid car, but bits of me are scattered all over town; the graveyard, school, Cassie's room, the motel, and standing in from of the sink in my mother's kitchen. It takes too much energy to gather all the bits together, so I just sit there and watch him implode.

Bologna girl, that's me.

I am not going to think about it. It was ugly, but it’s over, and I’m not going to think about it.