Like all young men I set out to be a genius, but mercifully laughter intervened.

Comedians are the nearest to suicide.

Now stiff on a pillar with a phallic air nelson stylites in Trafalgar square reminds the British what once they were.

Truth is what most contradicts itself.

I'm trying to die correctly, but it's very difficult, you know.

Of women, the most we can say, not being Frenchmen, is that they are burrowing animals.

You see, nothing matters except pleasure - which is the opposite of happiness, its tragic part, I expect.