The only place a new hat can be carried into with safety is a church, for there is plenty of room there.

God made both tears and laughter, and both for kind purposes; for as laughter enables mirth and surprise to breathe freely, so tears enable sorrow to vent itself patiently. Tears hinder sorrow from becoming despair and madness.

Jenny kissed me when we met, Jumping from the chair she sat in; Time, you thief, who love to get Sweets into your list, put that in: Say I'm weary, say I'm sad, Say that health and wealth have missed me, Say I'm growing old, but add-- Jenny kissed me!

If you are ever at a loss to support a flagging conversation, introduce the subject of eating.

Some tears belong to us because we are unfortunate; others, because we are humane; many, because we are mortal. But most are caused by our being unwise. It is these last only that of necessity produce more.

May exalting and humanizing thoughts forever accompany me, making me confident without pride, and modest without servility.

Stolen kisses are always sweetest.