From what I hear, [ "Fifty Shades of Grey" ] is not a way that I feel like I need to be turned on or like a hole that needs to be filled in me.

For anyone that has ever done a sex scene, it takes on the feeling of learning a ridiculous dance, like the electric slide. It's not a sexy experience.

My fears came true: People called me fat and hideous, and I lived. And now I keep living.

I wanted to be a poet. I had a really romantic idea about what that would mean. My parents knew some poets, and I liked how they dressed and acted, but I didn't really acknowledge that I only liked reading some bits of poetry while I was peeing or something.

There is something vulnerable about showing your tattoos to people, even while it gives you a feeling that you are wearing a sleeve when you are naked.

Katherine Heiny's work does something magical: elevates the mundane so that it has the stakes of a mystery novel, gives women's interior lives the gravity they so richly deserve -- and makes you laugh along the way.

I feel prettier with a naked face and ChapStick. But a good haircut makes a huge difference.