I was raised on the internet.

I am thinking particularly of a shower I took where the lower half of my body was under the running water and the upper half was laid out on the bath mat, eating a loaf of bread.

I hate to be the person that's like, "We're doing something that's never been done before."

Basically, anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl, I was trying.

At my age, no one is married, no one has kids, no one has a career.

I sometimes want to make a book of every tattoo I wanted to get before I actually got a tattoo, because there were so many awful ideas and concepts.

But I am a girl with a keen interest in having it all, and what follows are hopeful dispatches from the frontlines of that struggle.