Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.

In some ways, you know, people that don't exist, are much nicer than people that do.

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then.

Here is a golden Rule.... Write legibly. The average temper of the human race would be perceptibly sweetened, if everybody obeyedthis Rule!

There's no use in comparing one's feelings between one day and the next; you must allow a reasonable interval, for the direction of change to show itself.

I said you LOOKED like an egg, Sir. And some eggs are very pretty, you know.