When the music is over, she keeps her head down till she finds her seat again, and I wonder how many times each day she dies a little.

I'm going to eviscerate you and leave your organs on a pike in the yard as a warning to those who wear large jewelry.

Just because you're funny doesn't mean you get to be cruel.

Feast for the Fisherman, the ultimate emo band. Said to be sold with a complimentary prescription for antidepressants and a free flatiron.

Tell my brother to remember his heart in all things. That is where his honor and his destiny will be found. Tell him.

Agent Jones switched to the big screen and a grainy video of MoMo sitting at his enormous desk, a swivel-hipped Elvis clock ticking behind his bewigged head. 'Death to the capitalist pigs! Death to your cinnamon bun-smelling malls! Death to your power walking and automatic car windows and I'm With Stupid T-shirts! The Republic of ChaCha will never bend to your side-of-fries -drive -through-please-oh-would-you-like-ketchup-with-that corruption! MoMo B. ChaCha defies you and all you stand for, and one day, you will crumble into the sea and we will pick up the pieces and make them into sand art.

Greetings, ax murderer! I was just wondering how you like your eggs?