Any librarian or scholar will tell you: Close is not the same as accurate.

DiscomfortWear™, shapewear designed to eliminate rills, ripples, and muffin tops. In some cases known to eliminate circulation and breathing. If you’re not uncomfortable, it’s not DiscomfortWear™.

Men have feelings too, you know. You bruise the petals of my manflower.

Without further warning, the sky opens up and cries.

Maybe that's what real friendship is -- getting so used to people that you need to be annoyed by them.

God doesn't like lesbians," Grandma Huberman hised, throwing the magazine in the trash. Jennifer knew what lesbian meant, and she knew she probably was one. But she couldn't understand why God would hold that against her or against Monica Mathers, who'd never started a war or killed anybody, and whose deadeye three-pointers were straight-up amazing. After all, hadn't God made both of them? But people were like that, she'd noticed. They'd invoke Godly privilege at the weirdest of times and for the most stupid reasons.

There is no greater power on this earth than story.