I am dying a thousand cruel and unusual deaths as fifty pairs of eyes take me in, size me up like something that should be hanging over a fireplace in a gentleman's den.

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin.

Pastoralia by George Saunders. Possibly my favorite book. Its one of the weirdest books Ive ever read. If Monty Python and Thomas Pynchon had a love child, and it was raised by Frank Zappa on a weird commune, that would be this book.

I hate high heels. Walking in high heels for eight hours a day should be forbidden by the Geneva Convention.

True affection and love have a purity which shall always prevail over bigotry.

Just once, she'd like to be the exciting one, the girl somebody wanted.

It occurs to me that cricket is not the true sport in London - gossip is.