When the reviews are bad I tell my staff that they can join me as I cry all the way to the bank.

My manager called me once during one of my vacations and said, "I have a fantastic offer for you. Just hear me out. Don't say no yet." And it was fantastic offer but I said, "Seymour, I'd love to do it, but I really can't. My orchid trees are in bloom. I never leave when my orchid trees are in bloom." He thought it was crazy, but I am very into certain things. If a dog is sick I won't work.

People who sit back and wait for somebody to take care of them are the people that if shown a way, can be useful to our society.

I was born and raised during Depression Years when we were on County relief and we all went out and we hustled. we worked. I worked in a restaurant, I washed dishes.

I separate the performer from the private citizen because it works for me. That gives the surprise element to my show. It doesn't change my playing. But if in a business suit they would think I was crazy. It's like putting Marlene Dietrich in a housedress.

Anyone that dares begrudge what I have today, just better get off their duff and do something about it.

One time when I played Australia I had a death threat, and they tried to keep it from me, but I found out. They had all this security backstage, outside the dressing room. I said, "What happens when I walk into the spotlight. I'm a target. So I really don't need all this. You guys can go out and sit in the audience. I think you'd be a lot more useful there." If somebody really wants to do you in nothing will stop them. It's proven by John F.Kennedy, the Pope and Ronald Reagan.