A cocktail party is a place where you talk with a person you do not know about a subject you have no interest in.

The three great American vices seem to be efficiency, punctuality, and the desire for achievement and success. They are the things that make the Americans so unhappy and so nervous.

Simplicity is the outward sign and symbol of depth of thought.

It is important that man dreams, but it is perhaps equally important that he can laugh at his own dreams.

Once Confucius was walking on the mountains and he came across a woman weeping by a grave. He asked the woman what here sorrow was, and she replied, We are a family of hunters. My father was eaten by a tiger. My husband was bitten by a tiger and died. And now my only son! Why don't you move down and live in the valley? Why do you continue to live up here? asked Confucius. And the woman replied, But sir, there are no tax collectors here! Confucius added to his disciples, You see, a bad government is more to be feared than tigers.

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Anyone who reads a book with a sense of obligation does not understand the art of reading.