I feel, like all modern Americans, no consciousness of sin and simply do not believe in it. All I know is that if God loves me only half as much as my mother does, he will not send me to Hell. That is a final fact of my inner consciousness, and for no religion could I deny its truth.

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man.

Only he who handles his ideas lightly is master of his ideas, and only he who is master of his ideas is not enslaved by them.

An educated man is one who has the loves and hatreds together.

Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks.

Neckties strangle clear thinking.