At religious instruction classes, I encountered The Pilgrims Progress by John Bunyan, and the sincerity of the traveller in that book was overwhelming.

Praying privately in churches, I began to discover that heaven was my true home and also that it was here and now, woven into this life.

I still go to a Christian priory for retreats.

I didn't want to be on the losing side. I was fed up with Jewish weakness, timidity and fear. I didn't want any more Jewish sentimentality and Jewish suffering. I was sickened by our sad songs.

I was not allowed a physical lover. Falling in love with Love was the best I could get.

Early on I saw the repression and idolatry of Stalinism, and when it cracked, I was open to religion again.

Old friends die on you, and they're irreplaceable. You become dependent.