The existence of other people is essentially awkward.

The good life doesn't knock on the door. Joy is a job.

A lot of people get so hung up on what they can't have that they don't think for a second about whether they really want it.

Everything people do that doesn’t work has to be somebody else’s fault. Next time you know, geezers’ll be suing the government for getting old and kids’ll be taking their mommies to court because they came out ugly.

Size is relative. If everyone is fat, no-one is fat

Time itself made all things rare.

I first foreswore motherhood when I was about eight years old. ... [Children] were annoying. We were loud and sneaky and broke things. As an eight-year-old, maybe I was simply mortified by the prospect of being saddled with myself.