What place does a woman have here, in the realm of men?

I've got this image in my head of how I want my life to look, and I have absolutely no idea how to get there. And I'm so scared that I'll make some wrong decision - just one - and everything will get messed up and go wrong -for good.

Merry Christmas, I whisper to myself. Merry Christmas, Nate.

The song is languid and speaks of love and loneliness and loss. Why does love seem to go with the sad things?

My sparrow, she flickers and wakes and sings and sings.

Still, I look down, and the grass is so green, I cannot understand how it does not wither and die with sorrow. ~Song of the Sparrow

What place does a woman have here, in the realm of men?