I've been through so much in my life. I've seen so much. I know how fast things can change. I know someone can be here one minute and gone the next.

It's hard for me to be happy because I'm always worried about something going awry or what could happen to screw it up. It's hard for me to sit and look around, going, 'Ah, I'm really happy.' I'm not that kind of person.

I saw a Velveeta commercial and it was playing, I think 'Burning Love.' He [Michael Jackson] had approved it - that's something we can't control. He can do whatever he wants with the songs he owns to make money, and that got under my skin.

A couple of months ago I hauled my white ass on stage alongside Chaka Khan and Stevie Wonder for Divas Las Vegas, singing in front of a celebrity audience. If I can hold my own there, I can hold my own at Top of the Pops, trust me.

I'm a hypochondriac. Yesterday it was brain damage from the vodka the night before. Today, heart attack - my arm and chest started hurting at the same time.

I don't think that I'm a top 40 artist in any way. So I don't think I'm that mainstream.

I want to write, I want to sing. I want to do the same thing for others, have my music, hopefully do that for others one day, not realizing what I sort of had to climb. I had an idea a little bit, but I think that I underestimated the whole thing.