I was always a little bit chubbier than everyone else. But I would feel pain for some of the other girls, who were so young and felt they had to be so skinny. They'd be living in the model apartments, totally wrapped up in this whole world. And it made me more sad than anything.

It's terrifying. It's so scary, because you get used to being around the crew and being friendly with everyone and then suddenly, at a certain point, everything switches and you're the one standing behind the lights and nobody's going to help you. And that can be really difficult sometimes.

I just learned that, even though in a past life, I was a model, too.

New York was fun as a kid. I loved to go walking. It was an adventure. I remember throwing my retainer into a garbage can one time and my mom yelling, "Get your ass over here now!" And I had to dig through the garbage and find my retainer.

I was always a little bit chubbier than everyone else. But I would feel pain for some of the other girls, who were so young and felt they had to be so skinny. They'd be living in the model apartments, totally wrapped up in this whole world. And it made me more sad than anything.

I just remember saying to myself that I'd much rather do movies than modeling, and that it was worth a try. I didn't really know anything about it. I hadn't seen many movies, or so-called, good movies. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Star Wars and Night of the Living Dead. When I got more curious about the movies, I thought they were something you had to learn about and go to school for and read every book.

My diary is a disaster...I can't spell at all...I'll spell the same word completely differently in the same sentence.