My diary is a disaster...I can't spell at all...I'll spell the same word completely differently in the same sentence.

I am scared of becoming a mother.

At a certain point I became really frustrated with modeling, like, why do I have to go home after school and get dressed up and put makeup on my face, and then go to a photographer's studio where there's 15 other girls with their books and have to prove myself? A lot of people don't think of it that way, but modeling's a hard job, physically and emotionally.

I just learned that, even though in a past life, I was a model, too.

I feel so blessed that I have a job where I can spend long periods of time with my family. Most moms don't have that choice. But wearing so many hats - mother, wife, actress - does take hard work; you always have to be thinking about your family's best interests.

Being a teenage model was lot of fun, like playing dress-up. I'd feel ugly and awkward and chubby, and they'd transform me. Not that that makes everything better. Then my mom shopped the pictures around, I guess, and the agencies started calling. I wound up going with a little agency, Spectrum. It all happened really quickly, I started modeling for magazines like YM and Seventeen, and I did a couple of bigger things like Italian Vogue.

When I was pregnant. I exercised and was healthy, but it was also the first time since I was 14 that I wasn't on a diet.