Love is art, not truth. It’s like painting scenery.

A funny line can never exist on its own. It needs to be surrounded by mood and circumstances.

I had never feared insomnia before--like prison, wouldn't it just give you more time to read?

Humor comes from the surprise release of some buried tension.

For love to last, you had to have illusions or have no illusions at all. But you had to stick to one or the other. It was the switching back and forth that endangered things.

shopping for clothes is like masturbation - everyone does it, but it isn't very interesting and therefore should be done alone, in an embarrassed fashion, and never be the topic of party conversation.

Once love had seemed like magic. Now it seemed like tricks.