It might be one thing to think about putting on a dress, but when you're actually putting on a dress, it's a weird thing, because you're going, "Huh. I'm putting on a dress. Do I leave my underwear on? Do I get some other underwear? Is there something special I should wear?" All that dumb stuff. I'd never had any interest in putting on my mom's clothes, except to think, "Well, they are nice clothes..."

I'm still working! I think of all the other comics that didn't get the light shined on them, just because it's just how fame works, and it's unfortunate. But there are so many great comics out there who are still working, and I still see them.

I was a terrible actor. But John Hughes liked me, and he encouraged me. I made him laugh, I guess is the bottom line, and then he gave me that part in Ferris Bueller's Day Off as the flower man. It's just a nothing part in one sense, but it's such an iconic movie that people will ask me from time to time, "Are you in Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" "Yeah."

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

I have to be very careful about how I do any stuff on sadness 'cause the crowd gets really sad and concerned for me.

I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. In a few years, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.