Well, let me tell you something, Caveman. You are here on account of one person. If it wasn't for that person, you wouldn't be here digging holes in the hot sun. You know who that person is?" "My no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather.

I'm no good at describing my books. 'Holes' has been out now for seven years, and I still can't come up with a good answer when asked what that book is about.

In a way, it made him sad. He couldn't help but think that a hundred times zero was still nothing.

He could hardly lift his spoon during breakfast, and then he was out on the lake, his spoon soon replaced by a shovel.

If only, if only, the moon speaks no reply; Reflecting the sun and all that's gone by. Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly. Fly high, my baby bird, My angel, my only

The impossible is more believable than the highly improbable.

It was all because of his no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealinggreat-great-grandfather!