The only true animal is a cat, and the only true cat is a gray cat.

I don't know which is worse - to have somebody you DON'T like ask you to marry him or NOT have some one you DO like. Both are rather unpleasant.

I know you're a fool, Jim Hardy, but for heaven's sake pretend you're not for five minutes.

It is when my umbrella turns inside out that I am convinced of the total depravity of inanimate things.

Those who can soar to the highest heights can also plunge to the deepest depths and the natures which enjoy most keenly are those which also suffer most sharply.

Life owes me something more than it has paid me and I'm going out to collect it.

It's the worst kind of cruelty — the thoughtless kind. You can't cope with it.