My purpose in life always has been to avoid work. And I hear these people saying, "I work hard and I pay my taxes." Well, you're an asshole.

I am full of theories that are based on a very liquid foundation, because I used to be a drinker.

That's my punishment in hell, shoveling horseshit.

Never make any reference to the other person's family. "You're just like your - " because that is out, completely.

Corporations can deduct their planes, all their office expenses, their machinery, their computers and Teleprompters and whatever else they have. They can deduct their yachts, they can deduct their limousines, their planes, everything.

I would never become an alcoholic like my father because my father deserted us. But diseases, there's no let up.

I've seen so many horrible and awful results and consequences of people practicing alcoholism. It's murder, I've seen that. I've seen a lot of suicides, a lot of strange sins.