I failed everything in school. I left when I was 13 because I had no comprehension of what the hell they were talking about up there at the blackboard. I must have that ADD thing. But, listening to people I thought, that's wonderful to be able to tell a story.

If you look up the word "gab" in the dictionary, it's insignificant of importance, of no substance. That's what gab is.

When I'm writing, I thoroughly enjoy it. It just goes on.

The future has to do with fear. Don't attempt to come up here. Don't attempt to go forward, you were nobody, you are nobody, and you'll always be nothing, so don't even think about coming here because if you do, something awful will happen to you.

There were a few people who got jobs in Limerick, a big barrel on wheels, and it was a barrel that went back and forth, and a shovel and a broom. So, they went around shoveling the horseshit into this barrel. So, you got that job when you were around 15, and then you got to retire at the age of 65, with a pension. A small pension. So that would be 50 years of shoveling horseshit. And I was advised very seriously that I should get that job.

I am full of theories that are based on a very liquid foundation, because I used to be a drinker.

Whenever I'm broadcasting, I like it. When I'm broadcasting I can't wait to hear what I say.