Organized religions have all the facets of organized crime, except the compassion of organized crime.

I stay in the present, so I don't know about the future.

Whenever I'm broadcasting, I like it. When I'm broadcasting I can't wait to hear what I say.

I've avoided work all my life, you see. So, I'm like a bee. I go from flower to flower.

I'm an alcoholic, recovering. And I used to smoke cigarettes, and I was a philanderer and I, wouldn't call myself good.

That's my punishment in hell, shoveling horseshit.

When an English man speaks well, for example now, and this is another way of putting us down, they say he's "eloquent" you see. "Oh, eloquent chap they are!" An Irish person speak well, they say, "Ah, you have the gift of the gab." "Ah, you kissed the blarney stone." You see, all of this putting us down.