I am in a slight difficulty because I find myself in a minute minority there, in that this Sputnik didn't either interest me or frighten me, but that's because I don't, you see, believe that the circumstances of life are the important thing.

There's far more truth in the Book of Genesis than in the quantum theory.

Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the old.

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity.

On television I feel like a man playing piano in a brothel; every now and again he solaces himself by playing 'Abide with Me' in the hope of edifying both the clients and the inmates

I don't like seeing people angry.

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures.