There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.

Happy as a clam, is what my mother says for happy. I am happy as a clam: hard-shelled, firmly closed.

If a god showed up every time you put a quarter in the prayer slot it wouldn't be God, it would be a puppet that you could control by doing that...that would make the deity subservient to you. So it wouldn't be a deity would it?

A ratio of failures is built into the process of writing. The wastebasket has evolved for a reason.

...how much needless despair has been caused by a series of biological mismatches, a misalignment of the hormones and pheromones? Resulting in the fact that the one you love so passionately won't or can't love you. As a species we're pathetic that way: imperfectly monogamous.

Eating is our earliest metaphor, preceding our consciousness of gender difference, race, nationality, and language. We eat before we talk.

What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!