I have no faith in a human critter who hasn't one or two bad habits.

What I object to in Mother is that she wants me to think her thoughts. Apart from the question of hypocrisy, I prefer my own.

Age, with shamefaced relief, has learned the solvent quality of Time. It is this quality which makes possible the contemplation of certain embarrassing heavenly reunions.

When one promise jostles another, one of 'em isn't a promise.

I have heard that a man might be his own lawyer, but you can't be your own judge.

There is no embarrassment quite like the embarrassment of listening to a person for whom one has a regard making a fool of himself.

the profession of the ministry is like matrimony: if it is possible for you to keep out of it, it's a sign that you've no business to go into it!