The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

... blueprints are like pets and children -- difficult to appreciate or understand unless they're yours.

I asked my vet what kind of dog he'd get. He told me, 'I'd get a Chihuahua, because when it died, I wouldn't care.

Remodeling is like pulling a loose thread on a cheap sweater - the job keeps unraveling.

It seems to be a rule of life that the less qualified you are to give counsel, the more counsel you give.

My husband says that I'm afraid of heights, but that's not true. What I'm afraid of is falling.

House guests (I don't care who they are, how much I like them, or how long it's been since I last saw them) are pests, much like roaches and mice. But there are differences. You can trap roaches and mice. And they don't want you to drive them to Disneyland.