Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano.

[To Jean Harlow, who repeatedly mispronounced her first name:] No, no, Jean. The t is silent, as in Harlow.

My sort of looks are of the kind that bore me when I see them on other people.

What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.

From the happy expression on their faces you might have supposed that they welcomed the war. I have met with men who loved stamps, and stones, and snakes, but I could not imagine any man loving war.

It is easier to influence strong than weak characters in life.

It is not dying, but living, that is a preparation for Death.