The ingrained idea that, because there is no king and they despise titles, the Americans are a free people is pathetically untrue. . . . There is a perpetual interference with personal liberty over there that would not be tolerated in England for a week.

Truthfulness with me is hardly a virtue. I cannot discriminate between truths that and those that don't need to be told.

It is always dangerous to generalize, but the American people, while infinitely generous, are a hard and strong race and, but for the few cemeteries I have seen, I am inclined to think they never die.

It is easier to influence strong than weak characters in life.

the announcement that you are going to tell a good story (and the chuckle that precedes it) is always a dangerous opening.

I have always wanted to be a man, if only for the reason that I would like to have gauged the value of my intellect.

The Almighty is a wonderful handicapper: He will not give us everything.