His modesty amounts to deformity.

My sort of looks are of the kind that bore me when I see them on other people.

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends

the announcement that you are going to tell a good story (and the chuckle that precedes it) is always a dangerous opening.

I was born in the country of Hogg and Scott between the Yarrow and the Tweed, in the year 1864.

Till I see money spent on the betterment of man instead of on his idleness and destruction, I shall not believe in any perfect form of government.

[On Austen Chamberlain:] He is more loyal to his friends than to his convictions.