[To her host upon leaving a party:] Don't think it hasn't been charming, because it hasn't.

[On spiritualism:] I always knew the living talked rot, but it's nothing to the rot the dead talk.

I do not say I was ever what I would call "plain," but I have the sort of face that bores me when I see it on other people.

What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.

I have always wanted to be a man, if only for the reason that I would like to have gauged the value of my intellect.

All I can say about my mind is that, like a fire carefully laid by a good housemaid, it is one that any match will light.

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.