The Irish sometimes make and keep a vow against whiskey; these vows are usually limited to a short time.

tyranny and injustice always produce cunning and falsehood.

Some people talk of morality, and some of religion, but give me a little snug property.

Illness was a sort of occupation to me, and I was always sorry to get well.

a straight line is the shortest possible line between any two points - an axiom equally true in morals as in mathematics.

The bore is good for promoting sleep; but though he causeth sleep in others, it is uncertain whether he ever sleeps himself; as few can keep awake in his company long enough to see. It is supposed that when he sleeps it is with his mouth open.

Let the sexes mutually forgive each other their follies; or, what is much better, let them combine their talents for their general advantage.