Did she just-" "Yes." "But I don't-" "Yes you do. We both stink." "Well, I'm not-" "Yes. You are." He huffed. "You wont let-" "No. No complaining. Let's go." I grabbed a clean shirt and pants from my saddlebags. "Well, she could have handled it better," he grumped. "No. She couldn't." He settled into a sulky silence as we visited the bathhouse.

Trust, Kiki said, Trust is peppermints.

Some Queen of the Pipes, I thought. I'd believed I was better than a mindless drone. But I was the mindless one, hiding away. Even now I referred to them as if I didn't belong.

Living is a risk," I snapped at him. "Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a risk. To survive is to know you're taking that risk and to not get out of bed clutching illusions of safety.

Lying to yourself is easy, too. I know. It's much harder to stay and deal with consequences.

I doubt I would ever be missed. Noted absent, charged delinquent, reprimanded but never missed.

It had been wishful thinking, plain and simple, dangerous for me to indulge in. Hope, happiness and freedom were not in my future.