If there's one thing I know, it's men. I ought to. It's been my life's work.

If ants are such busy workers, how come they find time to go to all the picnics?

I'll have my double chins in privacy.

I'm too homely for a prima donna and too ugly for a soubrette.

No vice is so bad as advice.

It is not how old you are, but how you are old.

I contend that every woman has the right to feel beautiful, no matter how scrambled her features, or how indifferent her features.