You may wonder: how do I overcome the common 'Cute/Insane Conundrum,' as it occurs in men ... Yes, it's a fact - any man who seems cute, fabulous, and incredible to you will, of course, turn out to be insane.

Middle Age connotes fat, cancer, bad musical taste, and death. It conjures up a commuter in the sixties going to a Neil Simon play in Sansabelt pants, a knit vest, balding, belly sagging - and then there's the men.

Different portions of the brain all look for information (sexual, intuitive, practical), through modes so torturous, a first date can feel like a cross between having a pelvic examination while applying for a small business loan. First dates should require anesthesia, and in some states they do.

Middle Age, a restful, welcome break from real life, brings some unique opportunities.

[On middle age:] ... the very real possibility for you of growing fat as you near death and thus being seen by everyone while you are both DEAD AND FAT.

Estrogen is a powerful if vengeful hormone affecting a woman's fertility, moods, sleep patterns, appetite. Estrogen is the household heating oil of womanhood.

The term middle-aged, invented by Descartes, comes from the Latin, medeus, meaning 'not really old' and ageis, meaning 'if you look at it in a certain way.