Rules for today: 1) Pray 2) Laugh 3) Repeat. The only reason to take this life too seriously is if it's your only one.

A parent asked me today, "How do you get your children to pray in church?" My response? "Pray at home."

Married couples, may we never forget that when attacks come the grace of the sacrament is eternally stronger than we are.

The atheist barista (who's obsessed with astrology) asked me, "So what's your sign?" I responded, "The sign of the cross." I think she spit in my coffee.

The Church needs more people willing to wash feet, not just point out they're dirty or complain that they smell.

How beautiful that after 2,000 years, no one can outdo "God is love." It's the most perfectly concise, hopeful phrase in history.

Teacher: "If your daughter knew her spelling words as well as her Bible stories she'd get into Harvard." Me: "I'll settle for Heaven."