We reserve the right to make fun of every single person on planet Earth.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off a boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.

The process of introducing people to new music is amazing. It's a gift. One of the best parts of any day is when someone says, 'Hey, check out this new band...'

I've learned some of the greatest life lessons from growing up in the skate and punk rock communities.

I would probably say, 'Don't worry so much about stuff as you grow up.'

Screw them. Yeah. But not literally. I'm not advocating promiscuity.

Take it from me because I learned the hard way: circumcisions are best left to professionals.