I lived in small town out in the desert and my friend used to steal his mom's car in the middle of the night. He'd drive over to my house, I'd sneak out and we'd go out to the desert and just burn things down.

If your like me, you like to wait till your parents are having sex and walk in on them and act like its an accident, and then ask if you can join in.

Maybe people would be surprised to know that I listen to old Neil Diamond albums from time to time. The man rocks. I defy anyone to prove me wrong.

Thank God I never got in a fight. All of the jock dudes hated me, but all of their girlfriends thought I was nice so they wouldn't touch me. It was infuriating to them.

If something is wrong with you, hate someone else for it

I don't have a girlfriend, I have a dog.

I kinda like the duality of California and the dark side, the underbelly of California.