Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.

There is only one good sex. The female one.

Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?

Tight pants are just uncomfortable.

All generalizations are false, including this one.