Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.

By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.