Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

We can achieve what we can conceive and believe.

A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.

I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.

There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.

When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.