Few of us stand prosperity; another man's I mean.

Written things are not for speech; their form is literary; they are stiff, inflexible, and will not lend themselves to happy and effective delivery with the tongue-where their purpose is to merely entertain, not instruct; they have to be limbered up, broken up, colloquialized and turned into common forms of premeditated talk-otherwise they will bore the house and not entertain it.

My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.