Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.

Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.