Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.