It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.

I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.

Water is an individual, an animal, and is alive, remove the hydrogen and it is an animal and is alive; the remaining oxygen is also an individual, an animal, and is alive. Recapitulation: the two individuals combined, constitute a third individual-and yet each continues to be an individual....here was mute Nature explaining the sublime mystery of the Trinity so luminously that even the commonest understanding could comprehend it, whereas many a trained master of words had labored to do it with speech and failed.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.