For a moment, I panic. It's that feeling of falling when you know without question, that you've lost control of your car, or made a mistake that's beyond repair. 'What do I do now?' I ask desperately. 'Tell me! What do I do now?' He remains calm. He looks at me closely and says, 'Keep living, Ed... It's only the pages that stop here.

I looked at myself in that window, oblivious to all the people around me and I stared and smiled that particular smile. You know that smile that seems to knock you and tell you how pathetic you are? That's the smile I was smiling.

If you ever write a book, I can only give you one piece of advice. Don't let your parents get involved.

Outside is dark. The kitchen light is loud. It deafens me as I walk towards it.

How about a kiss, Saumensch?

He's most likely robbing the bank as a paycheck on the world for winning the ugliness prize at his local fete three years running.

But neither of us knows, because a fight's worth nothing if you know from the start that you're going to win it.