A fighter can be a winner, but that doesn't make a winner a fighter.

Please believe me when I tell you that I picked up each soul that day as if it were newly born. I even kissed a few weary, poisoned cheeks. I listened to their last, gasping cries. Their vanishing words. I watched their love visions and freed them from their fear.

Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced.

I say, 'Don't lose your heart, Rube.' And very clearly, without moving, my brother answers me. He says, 'I'm not tryin' to lose it, Cam. I'm tryin' to find it.

But then, is there cowardice in the acknowledgment of fear? Is there cowardice in being glad that you lived?

Around us I can sniff out a savagery in the noisy southern air. It knifes it's way into my nose, but I do not bleed blood. It's fear I bleed, and it gushes out over my lip. I wipe it away, in a hurry.

I am constantly overestimating and underestimating the human race - that rarely do I ever simply estimate it.